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Help me Catch a Cheating Boyfriend?
August 14, 2012 at 10:44 pm #1261
Okay. I know this forum is about security, but I need some advice on using security cameras, except, I need to catch a cheating boyfriend. Well, I don’t need to catch him in the way that it sounds. It’s just that, I think he’s lying to me and I’ve found hairs in his clothes and I just don’t feel right when I think about him. He said they were from shaving, but they were long straight hairs and mine are shorter and curlier.
I got into his cell phone records because he was texting some girl he said he was only old school friends with. After an argument we had, he texted her and said that, “I really miss you, kid.” After that, I started looking into his phone records. Then the night Craigslist shut down their adult section, I was out of town visiting family, and something just told me to check his phone records. I did, and he was calling massage businesses from 10 pm until midnight. The calls stopped then.
I thought it was strange, but he convinced me that it was innocent and his back was injured, which it was several months ago legitimately. When I searched the numbers he was calling in Google, most of them were legitimate places. Less than 10 of them were websites with one or two attractive girls in Facebook like pictures (cleavage, posing, hugging, kissing each other etc.) out at a bar. Those sites listed services and rates, so I think those were probably more on the adult side. Iâd say 5 to 7 of the sites were of one girl or two girls and did not look like legitimate places.
And, now that I look back on it, if Craigslist was closed, he’d have to call legitimate places and massage business listings in Google in order to see if he could find what he was looking for. He had made like 25 phone calls that night, and I’m starting to feel like he did that because Craigslist shut down and he couldn’t find anyone.
I really want to find out the truth, because all of my evidence is circumstantial. I feel like he looks at other women sometimes and flirts with other women sometimes in front of me, and overall, I’m just not happy with him. I try to be, but I just can’t shake the feeling that I can do better. But my conscience won’t allow me to leave because, what if I’m wrong and he’s really being faithful and I’m just being insecure? That’s why I why a camera of some sort. Itâs like I need proof to leave. I know to some people that might sounds stupid, and they would just leave because they are unhappy, but I keep trying to, and I just need proof. I hope someone here can help. Sorry for rambling.
August 15, 2012 at 11:28 pm #1266
I saw this awesome spy cam the other day that nobody would detect. I mean nobody. It's called the Sleuth Gear Cubed Clock Radio Hidden Camera. I think if you're trying to catch a cheating spouse, or mate, it's perfect. The trick is to make sure when you get it in the mail, you're the only one that's home. If you need to get a post office box to get it then spend the money. You're only going to get one shot at this and if you blow it, he'll never let you catch him cheating again. Trust that. So if you can't be home to get all packages, get a secret PO box and have it sent there. Then bring it home with your other shopping in a regular clock alarm box so that it looks like you just picked it up at Marshalls or Best Buy or something on sale.
Make sure you throw away all of your receipts from that shopping day. You don't want him finding that one is inconspicuously missing or find that you went to Best Buy, but didn’t buy an alarm clock. Another thing you could do is actually buy an alarm clock, throw it away and replace it with this one and then, you’ll have a record on the receipt, unless he's really the nosy type and will look up the brand online and see that it's different than what you have. If he is, just throw all your receipts away from that day. Nothing to wonder about that way. Make sure also that you throw them away in a mall trash can or something, NOT the kitchen trash!
Next, hook this baby up and you're good to go. It looks like an innocent alarm clock, but if he's cheating on you, you'll find out. It even records clear images in the dark, so that night he was calling the massage places, if he had someone over, you would have known.
If you don't catch him cheating in the house with this, let me offer some advice to you. You can take it or leave it. Based on what I read above, he sounds like a jerk that probably is cheating on you on the regular. You should probably trust your gut. That's just my two cents. I wish you the best and hope you find more happiness sooner rather than later.
August 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm #1265
a Security Professional
You think that your boyfriend is cheating on you, which means that you don't trust him.
You've gone through his cell phone records behind his back, which is proof positive that he certainly can't trust YOU.
If a relationship isn't based on trust, then it isn't a relationship. I don't think that you need a security camera and monitor to see where this should be going.
You both need to move on immediately with your own seperate lives. Good luck and please write back if you actually need some security advice.
P.S. Don't worry – – there are TONS of places that will sell you hidden cameras so that you can spy on your boyfriend, if you still feel the need to take that route. Based on the obvious facts that you've presented, I think you already know the answer to your real question.
August 18, 2012 at 1:14 am #1268
If you don’t have money like that, or a good friend that will help you spy on him, then I'm afraid you're going to have to trust your instincts, honey, and you need to start trusting them fast so he doesn't bring you some kind of disease.
I am here to tell you, if you're finding hairs that aren't your own in is clothes and you've never found them before, chances are they weren't from shaving, or hairs like that would be there all the time and you'd be used to finding them in the laundry.
Secondly, the whole dialing massage businesses until 12am thing the night Craigslist shut down their adult section is beyond sketchy. I understand how you got confused though, but even if he's legitimately got a bad back, there's no reason for him to be calling places back to back for several hours up until midnight. I mean if someone is really curious about a business and wants to listen to the company's official voice mail or something for the hours or directions, I could see calling 5 places or less, and comparison shopping after hours. But what you describe is someone feverishly dialing one call after another from about 10:00pm until midnight like he is looking for something specific, not listening to voice mails and getting hours and directions. 25 plus massage business phone calls in 2 hours is outrageous, dear, and I'm sorry you fell for it. I've fallen for worst myself. Trust me on this.
If you can't afford a PI or a security camera like the one recommended above, trust me, he's cheating on you. Move on. It won't feel right at first and you will question your choice, but after a few months have gone by, you will look back and see the obvious things that the people that read your post see. I know that it's hard for you to make that step right now, but I can tell that in your heart that's what you want to do. Just puff out your chest and act like you're tougher than you are and walk away. Trust me, in a few months, it will be clear as a glass of water.
August 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm #1267
Hey, there. I know exactly where you are right now, I really do. I totally understand that you need proof. Cheaters have a funny way of making you feel guilty for the things that they do. It's a pretty smart strategy in a way, until you get wise to it. It's basically a way to confuse you. It sounds like you're dating a really good liar there. The fact that you even bought the whole massage thing is astounding. Confusion is really effective and it helps countless cheaters get away unscathed.
Another popular tactic that they use to confuse you and guilt you is that they say things like, "I’m really hurt that you don't believe me,” or that, ”I'm hurt that you would even think such a thing about me." Instead of saying that they didn't cheat on you, they say things like, "You have to trust me. I just want you to trust me. I'm not the type of jerk that you think I am." Guilting you is a strategy that cheaters I think share with one another over coffee and beers. Don't be fooled by it.
I think that camera that security43 mentioned is a great idea if you have the money. Another good strategy is to go back out of town and have a trusted friend follow your boyfriend and watch your house. It can be tempting to do it in disguise, but when someone knows you well, sometimes they can just feel you out and figure out your disguise.
I also think that if you have the money, a private investigator is a great ally in this. They know the tricks and the lies, they also know the town meeting spots where cheaters like to hang out.
All of these things are wonderful if you have at least $500 to $1000 to spare in something like this. I wish you the best of luck. I really do. Some people can be so cruel and waste your time when you could be with someone who truly loves you and cares about you. You’d even be better off your own feeling good about yourself, until you meet the right person, instead of wasting your life trying to build something with a loser, a jerk that always makes you feel second best.
I hope that one of these tactics help you catch your boyfriend and give you the peace you're seeking.
October 2, 2012 at 12:37 am #1264
I think many of you ask yourself, what if I had the password of my friend / girlfriend / boyfriend, associate, life partner, etc. .. to know the truth about your near partner, and reassuring that they do not hide something from you.
You have the right to be reassured!
For all that are in need of this kind of service, we come to your aid.
"Owning the information, means having the power"
October 3, 2012 at 8:29 am #1262
a seeker of security
So: You have the right to be reassured. This means that you can and should spy on everyone else that can't be trusted.
Does this "right to be reassured" also apply to anyone spying on YOU and YOUR personal stuff, or is it only a one-way street?
Because from my life experience, if an honest and trust-worthy person gets spied on, they really don't like it at all.
THEN, they tend to hate the person who spied on them (no matter what the relationship was like before the "spier" needed to be "reassured").
How about if you save yourself the trouble and expensive of spy equipment whenever you get that "annoying need to be reassured feeling" by just simply moving on.
Your money would be better invested in seeking professional help to determine why you're making such poor choices in life partners.
The TRUTH is that this "situation" is really only about YOU. As long as you continue to believe that it's about HIM / HER, you'll always bring home people that you "need to spy on".
December 30, 2012 at 3:48 pm #1269
suspect your partner of cheating??
check up on them…
May 30, 2013 at 12:43 pm #1263
The only way you will ever know for sure if your boyfriend is cheating on you is if you catch him in the act or if he tells you straight up. I would really think about if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in, and if not, get out of it. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
April 11, 2014 at 10:56 pm #10437
That is a sad place to be. I once dated a cheater. Caught her with another guy twice. Once via her cell phone she left at my place and once I just happened to catch her in public being more than friendly with a so called friend. (not only guys cheat). This might seem a bit harsh but if he or she is a computer using person they make software for that. You can see everything they do on a computer. A bit expensive for my liking but its the real deal. Here is a link to it it’s called Max Keylogger. http://bit.ly/1negjn8
I would suggest if it has come to this it’s already too late. But if you are like me it’s hard to just walk away.
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