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My Boyfriend is Spying on My Computer I Think

Home Forums Personal Security Privacy My Boyfriend is Spying on My Computer I Think

This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  fsteffen 7 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #1407 Reply

    Jack Charlie

    This is kind of weird question, but I really would like some helpful answers. My boyfriend is spying on my computer. I have a very complicated relationship. My boyfriend is very jealous and is constantly watching and spying on me everywhere I go. This includes my computer. I am quite sure he has placed some type of spyware on my system so that he track which websites I visit and exactly what I am doing on my computer. What I basically want to know is can I find something that will help me to detect and remove these silly spyware programs that he has put there?

  • #1410 Reply


    Wow…I am not even sure where to begin on this on! A jealous boyfriend putting spyware on his girlfriend’s computer! What an interesting twist to using technology. I think this would fall under the category of to those who have great power (or knowledge of how to infect computers with spyware) they must also learn great responsibility!

    Ok, I am finished being lighthearted. First, take a deep breath and relax. There are some excellent programs out there which can help you not only find but also remove all of the nasty spyware that your boyfriend put on your computer. You could do a basic search on the internet to find a few. However, I would recommend that you start with a simple program called Avast. This is a free anti virus program which also provides great protection against spyware.

    The program is very easy to use and has a lot of features. You simply download, install and let it do its magic. In almost every test that I have seen, Avast performs very well both in terms of identifying and removing spyware programs. It is also a great choice for ongoing protection and maintenance.

    You could also try something called Spyware Doctor. This one may even be more helpful to you (although I recommend you use it as a second line of defense) since it removes unwanted tracking software. I am guessing this is probably your biggest problem right now. In fact, it will also defend against all information stealing websites. I hope that he did not do anything as malicious as setting up such a site for the purpose of stealing you info, but at least now you will be protected. Additionally, your web browser will be protected, even during searches, which is when a lot of these things get inadvertently downloaded.

    If you are willing to pay for a solution, try Norton Internet Security. This is made by Symantec and is really quite good. The program is pretty easy to use and it comes with a TON of features. Everything I have talked about above is included, plus a lot more. The only downside is that it is not a free program, but I am guessing that right now you just want to take your computer back. By all means, do not let that guy anywhere near your computer again!

  • #1408 Reply


    I really think that you need to get away from this guy right away. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but the thing about it is that this is a warning signal. It could just be something bad, or it could be something extremely bad. Like at best, it could just mean that he doesn't trust you. Even though that may not sound like a big deal, it actually is, because you can never love someone that you don’t trust.  In fact, you can barely act like you do.

    Young people try it for many years and eventually they figure it out. You must either be with someone you trust, or be alone, there's no real in between. Everything else is misery. It can be hard because he might have loved you once, but something in your behavior has caused that love and trust to be broken. So chances are, the two of you just aren't right for each other. 

    That's at the low end of the scale.  At the high end of the scale, this guy could be quite dangerous.  He could be someone that can cause you a lot of problems.  Only you can answer this type of question.  Has he ever exhibited stalking behaviors or violent behaviors?  If so, then I would get away fast.  Either way, I would get away because either he's really unhappy with you or if he's been doing violent and angry things he's dangerous.  Here are some behaviors that might indicate that he has the potential to be violent:

    Flies into rages over small things (he must win the shouting match and yell the loudest).

    Flirts with or sleeps with other women boldly in front of you or with your obvious knowledge when you do things that make him unhappy.

    Speaks about women being put in their place.

    Steps in very close to you when he is trying to make a point.  (This is an intimidation tactic.  He might not touch you, but you know he means business.)

    He has actually hit you or pushed you.

    He throws things and breaks them when he gets angry.

    He threatens your loved ones or your pets.

    You have caught him following you.

    He embarrasses you in public by yelling at you, belittling you and humiliating you.

    These are just a few things that indicate a dangerous person.  There are many more things that you will be able to see. 

  • #1409 Reply


    One thing I have learned over the years is to trust my gut.  Now your gut is not always your emotions.  Sometimes they go along with your gut, but this is definitely not always the case.  I saw on TV a good way to follow your gut or to know what it's saying without your emotions clouding your judgment.  Basically, you write down the question that you need the answer to on a slip of paper and put it under your pillow.  Then in the morning when you first wake up, grab the paper, read the question and see what the answer is. 

    That first answer is likely just your answer.  It will be unclouded by the day's emotions or the past weeks emotions.  A lot of times, it's the answer you don't want to hear, but you recognize it as the answer that's been somewhere on your mind the whole time.  You just reject it repeatedly because you want or hope otherwise.  This only works if you can wake up naturally.  If you have an alarm clock or other people that will wake you up, that will distract you into your regular mind right away and you will not be a blank slate because you will be processing events right away. 

    However, if you really want to hear your intuition, you can hear it while doing simple tasks sometimes like washing dishes, crafting and filing papers.  As a Christian, we believe that God's Voice is a “still, small voice,” and it is referenced in the Bible that way.  It's something to think about.

    I remember, before I was a Christian, I did that note under the pillow technique with a guy I was really in love with.  He kept rejecting me, and he was cheating on me.  It was hard to let him go because he was the type of guy I always wanted to be with in high school.  I know it's kind of silly, but I guess that sensitive spot was still there.  Anyway, one time he disappeared and a couple of times he would disappear and not answer his phone and when he did that the first time I just thought it was over and sent him an email and told it was good to meet him etc.  Then like 3 days later he'd call me and ask me why I was leaving him, he had just been busy dealing with other issues in his life, it wasn't over and I was jumping to conclusions.  So I learned to just wait around when he disappeared.  Sometimes I can't believe how stupid I was with this guy.  Anyway, I saw the news story that talked about the paper under the pillow trick and the answer was "Just leave."  It's funny.  The answers are there and if you're willing to accept them, then you can hear them.  That's the best advice I can give.

  • #1411 Reply


    There are many programs someone could use to eliminate spyware. Barracuda Networks and Webroot are the two top anti-spyware programs that I have found. There a bunch of other anti-spyware programs out there as well.

    Select which one is best for you and let your husband know that he won’t get any information off your computer. What I would do if I were you is assure your boyfriend that there is no reason for him to be jealous and that he is the only guy for you.

    I am so glad that my husband was never the jealous or the spying type of man! Of course, there are two sides to every story. You may want to find out why your husband is jealous. Are you sneaking around behind his back or are you coming back late from work? Maybe it’s time for couple’s counseling? In couple’s counseling, people often times resolve their love and trust issues. It sounds like your husband may have trust issues with you.  Did you do something to make him suspect you or is he just untrusting of you for no reason? There are many options as to what you could do; I explained just a few.

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